Author Archives: sam

Star quality

Thank you all! Facebook of course, for this award, which is proof positive of my worth. My parents, for raising me to be the kind of person who can merit such an accolade. My Facebook friends, for being appreciative, obvs. Myself, for believing in myself. The list goes on.

Can’t wait to see how my badge looks.

Zuck took time out of his busy schedule to visit me for inspiration

In the news

I barely knew who Arron Banks was. Now that I know a bit more, I barely care.

I know who Caroline Lucas is: the envy of idealistic 12-year-olds everywhere. (Nothing wrong with being young and idealistic; it’s better than being older and none the wiser.)

So, reading the latest of what passes for news, I see that the bad boy from Basingstoke prompted Lucas to report him after setting Twitter squawking with his expressed desire to see a teenager drown in the Atlantic ocean. Well, when you put it that way.

Having incited my own much more modest mob a number of years ago, and being versed in tribal politics, I find merit in his non-apology: “Obviously I don’t hope she encounters a freak yachting accident! … I just enjoy watching the ludicrous tweeter mob following the next outrage.” Doubtless he spat out the bones of a baby kitten immediately after providing that quote.


Wonder Bread

the Wonder Woman who introduced me to the world of wonder women. Although we shall return to Lynda from time to time, the screenshots I have lined up are from the 2017 film starring Gal Gadot and Chris Pine, which I finally got around to watching in the summer of 2019 using an Amazon Prime trial, appropriately enough.

Stick them with the pointy end*

Now that you’re all grown up, better register those hands as lethal weapons

If that’s not defensive body language, I don’t know what is

All that training in hamster wheels left on the cutting room floor

Antiope’s work was never done

Good thing she’s just read a 12-volume treatise on the art of bodily pleasure

So far this is ticking all the boxes in my fantasy island scenerio

Are there any illicit videos from before he made it big, for us to judge for ourselves?

Little Big Steve is very persuasive that way

Good writing: he says what we’re all thinking

Much of the audience would like to liaise with you, Diana

Wait a minute, those don’t look like the bad guys

I’m not sure they came with a laugh track, either

Looks like we picked the wrong beach to storm

So much slo-mo, so little time

Consider me well chastised

Nothing says #MeToo like a powerful woman in charge of other powerful women suddenly confronted by their first men, now sleeping with the fishes

Only for the obligatory singles night of passion

Somebody’s playing hard to get and it’s not me

Third base can also be satisfying

If that’s his orgasm face, he’s a very fine actor indeed

That was fast. Are you sure Themyscira isn’t on the isle of Jersey or something?

I’m betting the prop master wasn’t even born when those were in fashion

There is a suspicious lack of twirling in the current era

If this is a movie made by women, we want more of same, please
Alternate caption: I’m sure you’re an Amazon at heart, Etta

And we love light relief (if I don’t fast forward we’ll be here all day) (flashbacks to the 70s don’t count)

The band of sisters who live there might like some light relief too

What he heard: “I do”

We love a tantalizing backstory explaining a villain’s mask and state of mental health

Spoiler alert

But first there’s a lot more fighting to get through

You Germans, such reliable evil-doers, hard to believe half of Britain will be crying over Brexit

My phallic symbol is bigger than yours

Funny how that outfit never caught on with the resistance movement

Thanks, but I think the new gal’s got this covered

It’s CGI, which if you know your Arthur C. Clarke, means it’s close

Oh, but being English, there was always a good chance you were going to be a baddie

This isn’t in the same universe of filmmaking as Naked, but the pay is much better

Have you been talking to my mother?

we would achieve box office dominance by capturing cult film lovers and DC Comics fans – would you like to see a Venn diagram?

Deserve’s got nothing to do with it

But like a sperm, I must complete my mission before la not-so-petite mort

Let’s not get too deep here

Kindly do not make me complicit in your pop culture homily-making machine

I am woman, etc.

Bruce Wayne is an available bachelor, isn’t he?

The wisdom of Athena…

I guess every generation needs a reminder

So much world to save, so little time.

It was a fun movie, but nutritionally suspect, like so many.

She said / she said

Growing up, I always wanted to be a Steve

Oh for the days when men were men, women were women, and phone booths were superhero changing rooms.

Nothing to do with the above, except I caught The Upside around the same time:
Pleasure earland – Bryan Cranston gets the Ferengi treatment

*Captioning Game of Thrones would probably take the rest of my life

Nature green in tooth and paw

The hunter finds his prey, his keen ears having detected the kitchen door opening.

Fleet of foot, he advances on the unsuspecting greens.

Ignoring the high pitched screams of the basil, coriander, carrot tops, mint, watercress and curly kale, he satisfies his terrible hunger.

Sweet peppers are a delicacy traditionally hand fed afterwards as a reward for his prowess.

How can he enjoy nature’s finest bounty, and yet also go gaga over this?

5 grams? You’re joking, right?

(For all I know, he observes me eating my usual

as cold cereal and thinks WTF?)

From what we’ve seen in pet shops and online, some bunnies practically live on nuggets, which were more or less invented to fatten rabbits for slaughter. Too much is a recipe for disaster. He’s allowed them because we figure they have nutrients he might be missing out on, as he can’t forage like his wild cousins. In other words, the nuggets are akin to this

and probably have more vitamins than this,

fortunately not all of which goes down the hatch.

Under his chair, planning the next hunt.

Maybe next time…