Category Archives: Scenes at the museum

A visit to the Tate Modern


Tower of babble


Rotten Tomatoes rates it 90% didactic


Either struck by an epiphany or lost her contact lens


The blur adds a sense of urgency the photographer wished to convey as he hurried through this room


Release the cats


Tl;dr: Nixon was warped, and you can yell at the screen if you want to


Finally, a place to eat my crisps in peace


Looks cozy enough


Please pray no one walks in on me eating my crisps


Whoa there, can’t you read, buddy?
In the interests of maintaining interfaith harmony, let me state for the record that I did not walk into the room with my shoes on. In fact I did not go in at all. Nor did I have crisps, a device used for illustrative purposes only.


Once more into the art


This piece by Susan Rothenberg is called ‘United States’. “The evocative title may refer to the two sides of the composition. The way in which the canvas – and the horse itself – are divided is reminiscent of abstract painting, and emphasises the interrelationship of representation and abstraction in Rothenberg’s work.” I would’ve just called it Horsey #1, assuming it was my first go at the thing. That’s why I’m not hung in the Tate.


Accidentally wandered into the staff exercise room


I don’t even have to read the placard label. This is the cross section of a very big safe, probably holding gold


Funnily enough this is also how Liberty sells their wallpaper


I call this one ‘Guarding the Potato Patch’



If you’re going to be placing rules on my interaction, I’m going to have to rethink this thing

Why Dali always regretted never having met van Gogh

and I’ll leave you with this:

Posted in Scenes at the museum | Leave a comment

Bad scene at the museum

It used to be that you’d go to the great British Museum and be greeted by lions. Now you’re vetted by security theatre ushers.

security1

security2

Posted in Scenes at the museum | Leave a comment

Scenes at the Museum: Mysterious – until you understand it

Longstanding exhibition “The Secret Life of the Home” in the basement of the Science Museum in London

hoovered
Home is where the Hooverer is

insidevacuum
Where’s the little woman inside?

friend
Why do you always complain you never have time to see your friends?
You see them all the time.

mysterious
Explain refrigeration to me again, George

roller
The long evolution of permanent press

hairdryerYou should see what I use to put my face on

hotpoint
Only your imagination gets between me and my Hotpoint

greatguy
You had me at I’m a great guy

dads
If you build it she will come

decca
Be a dear and dust the mistletoe?

Posted in Scenes at the museum | Leave a comment

Open day at the depot

Any museum that has trains in its collection needs a fair amount of floor space. Welcome to the London Transport Museum Depot in Acton Town. If you’re not a curator you might find the experience lacks a certain user-friendliness, but that’s probably why they call it a depot. They only have a few open days a year. Any more than that and trainspotters might start squatting.

pics

ikea
At first I thought we’d accidentally stumbled into IKEA.

maps
Plan your time travel.

youngsters
Get kids interested in trains and they’ll grow up to become a better class of people.

networkSE
It’s a rough network.

oiling
A little WD-40 should fix that points failure.

lair2
Disused lines are repurposed as underground lairs.

tangle
Whatever this is, you’ll know it when you see it.

buses
The Gold Bus is for 1st class passengers only.

vaseline
Safety first, Vaseline a close second.

neutral
That’s one way to keep it in neutral.

women1
women2
women3
The “char ladies of the underground” didn’t appreciate having Ron Jeremy as their supervisor.

oldbike
One for the bikespotters.

BBL
The rest of the story.

dogcollar
Even train seat cushion fabric doesn’t escape the cycle of rebirth.

toys
If you sell it they will come.

type
Toolbox of the graffiti artist before the invention of spray paint.

signs
It’s hard to make it to the end without suffering information overload.

tender
I have seen the future and it is overcrowded.

Posted in Scenes at the museum | Leave a comment

Brains on the brain

I recently had tea and biscuits with a descendent of Charles Babbage. The next day I happened to visit the Science Museum in London, that repository of knowledge

knowledge
and this formerly quite knowledgeable organ:brainybabbageAlthough donations are welcome at the museum, there was no slot for biscuits.

Seeing a brain in the altogether reminded me of this:2brains

which leapt across where a synapse should be, to this:futurama

and finally, this:
mybrainscan
my own skull stuffer, first theorised here.

Posted in Scenes at the museum | Leave a comment

Scenes at the museum

Horse, why you run?
horse500

Oh.
horse2

Posted in Scenes at the museum | Leave a comment