Category Archives: Scenes at the museum

A visit to the Tate Modern

Tower of babble

Rotten Tomatoes rates it 90% didactic

Either struck by an epiphany or lost her contact lens

The blur adds a sense of urgency the photographer wished to convey as he hurried through this room

Release the cats

Tl;dr: Nixon was warped, and you can yell at the screen if you want to

Finally, a place to eat my crisps in peace

Looks cozy enough

Please pray no one walks in on me eating my crisps

Whoa there, can’t you read, buddy?
In the interests of maintaining interfaith harmony, let me state for the record that I did not walk into the room with my shoes on. In fact I did not go in at all. Nor did I have crisps, a device used for illustrative purposes only.

Once more into the art

This piece by Susan Rothenberg is called ‘United States’. “The evocative title may refer to the two sides of the composition. The way in which the canvas – and the horse itself – are divided is reminiscent of abstract painting, and emphasises the interrelationship of representation and abstraction in Rothenberg’s work.” I would’ve just called it Horsey #1, assuming it was my first go at the thing. That’s why I’m not hung in the Tate.

Accidentally wandered into the staff exercise room

I don’t even have to read the placard label. This is the cross section of a very big safe, probably holding gold

Funnily enough this is also how Liberty sells their wallpaper

I call this one ‘Guarding the Potato Patch’

If you’re going to be placing rules on my interaction, I’m going to have to rethink this thing

Why Dali always regretted never having met van Gogh

and I’ll leave you with this:

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Bad scene at the museum

It used to be that you’d go to the great British Museum and be greeted by lions. Now you’re vetted by security theatre ushers.



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Scenes at the Museum: Mysterious – until you understand it

Longstanding exhibition “The Secret Life of the Home” in the basement of the Science Museum in London

Home is where the Hooverer is

Where’s the little woman inside?

Why do you always complain you never have time to see your friends?
You see them all the time.

Explain refrigeration to me again, George

The long evolution of permanent press

hairdryerYou should see what I use to put my face on

Only your imagination gets between me and my Hotpoint

You had me at I’m a great guy

If you build it she will come

Be a dear and dust the mistletoe?

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Open day at the depot

Any museum that has trains in its collection needs a fair amount of floor space. Welcome to the London Transport Museum Depot in Acton Town. If you’re not a curator you might find the experience lacks a certain user-friendliness, but that’s probably why they call it a depot. They only have a few open days a year. Any more than that and trainspotters might start squatting.


At first I thought we’d accidentally stumbled into IKEA.

Plan your time travel.

Get kids interested in trains and they’ll grow up to become a better class of people.

It’s a rough network.

A little WD-40 should fix that points failure.

Disused lines are repurposed as underground lairs.

Whatever this is, you’ll know it when you see it.

The Gold Bus is for 1st class passengers only.

Safety first, Vaseline a close second.

That’s one way to keep it in neutral.

The “char ladies of the underground” didn’t appreciate having Ron Jeremy as their supervisor.

One for the bikespotters.

The rest of the story.

Even train seat cushion fabric doesn’t escape the cycle of rebirth.

If you sell it they will come.

Toolbox of the graffiti artist before the invention of spray paint.

It’s hard to make it to the end without suffering information overload.

I have seen the future and it is overcrowded.

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