Please don’t like me

(posted on a busy forum)

It’s lovely to be liked, and I should really learn to do as the Romans do, but I just can’t like things I like.

I’m making a full confession now because I think it’s something anyone considering liking one of my posts deserves to know before they click.

Despite the thread title you can still like me if you’re so inclined; the upside is that my guilt at not ever reciprocating in kind often compels me to put extra effort into a reply I might otherwise not have, therefore adding value to the franchise. You’re welcome, Admin.

As of the most recent accounting, I’ve received 287 likes. I would like to take this opportunity to donate these to a charity involving orphans and kittens and unclubbed baby seals. Or else they could be loaded up and fired into an unsuspecting crowd (love that illustration, which I grabbed from a story, since gone 404, called ‘How to get people to like you on Facebook in five simple steps’).

PS. Am anticipating the first reply: “No problem, I’m already not liking you.”

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