The Joy of Captioning


Way to be a downer

I’ve been carrying one camera or another for a long time. At some point it occurred to me that a picture is worth as many words as it takes to complete the picture. That number may be 0,

or (counting…) 19,

or you may run out of fingers and toes and need a little help.


Elvis signing with RCA Records under the ever watchful eye of Colonel Parker, just out of shot. The two had taken the contract out of the office to cool off after a heated discussion involving a clause requiring the rising young star to gyrate his hips in a manner which he found objectionable on the grounds that his mother wouldn’t approve. “I’m sure she’ll approve of the new house you’ll be able to buy her,” the Colonel told him. Warming to the idea but still uncertain if the road to hell is paved with good intentions, Elvis asked two young ladies if the suggestive thrusting of his hips would deter them from buying his records. They searched their conscience and assured him that it wouldn’t, provided he lived a wholesome life when not under the spotlight. Grabbing a pen and a boy passing on a bicycle, he signed. The rest is music history. The boy grew up to become a DEA agent and a big Elvis fan. More days in history

Everything and everyone is fair game, and I do mean everyone.


Computers grew impatient with humans


Professor Hawking admires what he thinks is a new ‘black hole’ screensaver. His wife hasn’t yet told him that the computer isn’t plugged in. (Yes, some of these are a bit old. RIP, Stephen.)


London Mayor Ken Livingstone is lost for words as he suddenly realizes the ferris wheel has torn loose and is headed straight for him


Their first fight was over ‘Spank me Sally’, whose calling card she spotted in the phone box, and later, his wallet. (Here comes the bride. And again.)


No need to sacrifice yourself for the cause


This is never going to come out. (If you like that, you might like this: What did the nun say to Jesus?)

Photoshopping is usually kept to a minimum, unless the picture is crying out for it.

While I prefer to use my own images, it would be foolish to ignore opportunity when it presents itself.


The lady wasn’t for hovering


Family motto: We’re rich and you’re not


There was a palpable tension to pull out The New Yorker


A caption will only go as far as you’re willing to take it

Museums are my favourite hunting ground these days.


Anticipating the next Facebook notification


There was renewed interest when it was discovered her last will and testament included a treasure map


He’s probably more afraid of you than you are of him

The great thing about this passion play is I’ll never run out of pictures. Or words.


When a man is tired of writing, he’s tired of life


“Some come to me in a flash, others take a day or two of brooding.”
“Who cares. Make us laugh or go away.”

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