We are most concerned


Sources say he has an eye on our balloons.

I’m with him.


Release the ravens.


Are you sure you won’t make an exception?


Definitely not pro-life.


Before or after?


This was made abundantly clear.


The word you’re looking for is atrocious.


Come up with a caption using ‘Blair witch’ and win my undying gratitude.


Looks like he made quite a sacrifice for Brexit, too.


Yank go home.


Flag borrowed from the embassy in Australia?


There’s still room.


Tricky.


The ghost of election past.


Some came with cape, some without.


It was warm.
PASTIEFEST, to answer your question. I think.


Parliament Square? In these shoes?


Wanted: grammar nazi. Position is equal opportunity [from here].


I was discussing my mouth organ with Elton John the other day and he said sing us a song, you’re the piano brain. It was sad and sweet and I knew it complete…  but you know, I miss the earth, rocket man. All this science I don’t understand.

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Elizabeth Regina, birthday girl

Stills from the BBC documentary Queen: One’s Long Strange Trip


Before she was Queen, Elizabeth worked coal from the unforgiving earth.


The Queen wasn’t officially Queen until she bopped these men in the head with these fancy sticks.


Every morning the sovereign is required to remind the people that she is still Queen and they aren’t.


Her role is far from merely ceremonial. Here she examines a request from Stevenage Borough Council for a new sewage line to direct overflow to Welwyn Garden City.


Her Majesty takes aim at a peasant while her instructor looks on respectfully if not a little turned on.


HRH’s SOP is to take a snap of ‘persons of interest’, who are escorted to her private chambers then sworn to secrecy.


‘R’ has met many celebrities in her long life, many of whom really open up to her. Angelina Jolie tearfully confessed her disgust with Brad Pitt’s personal hygiene regime.


Pope Benedict proudly showed off the Vatican’s braille edition of The Kama Sutra.


Honorary EastEnder for a day… which was perhaps a day too much.


Comforting Yoko Ono by girlishly confiding that while her advisers recommended public admiration for Paul, she always fancied John for a bit of rough.


Yet another ‘jokey’ birthday card death threat sent by her devoted son. Her security detail is very real.


Little known fact: When the Queen dies, her beloved corgis will be buried alive with her to escort her to her glorious afterlife.

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A visit to the Tate Modern


Tower of babble


Rotten Tomatoes rates it 90% didactic


Either struck by an epiphany or lost her contact lens


The blur adds a sense of urgency the photographer wished to convey as he hurried through this room


Release the cats


Tl;dr: Nixon was warped, and you can yell at the screen if you want to


Finally, a place to eat my crisps in peace


Looks cozy enough


Please pray no one walks in on me eating my crisps


Whoa there, can’t you read, buddy?
In the interests of maintaining interfaith harmony, let me state for the record that I did not walk into the room with my shoes on. In fact I did not go in at all. Nor did I have crisps, a device used for illustrative purposes only.


Once more into the art


This piece by Susan Rothenberg is called ‘United States’. “The evocative title may refer to the two sides of the composition. The way in which the canvas – and the horse itself – are divided is reminiscent of abstract painting, and emphasises the interrelationship of representation and abstraction in Rothenberg’s work.” I would’ve just called it Horsey #1, assuming it was my first go at the thing. That’s why I’m not hung in the Tate.


Accidentally wandered into the staff exercise room


I don’t even have to read the placard label. This is the cross section of a very big safe, probably holding gold


Funnily enough this is also how Liberty sells their wallpaper


I call this one ‘Guarding the Potato Patch’



If you’re going to be placing rules on my interaction, I’m going to have to rethink this thing

Why Dali always regretted never having met van Gogh

and I’ll leave you with this:

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My Life as an Instagram Influencer

…and other columns written for my hometown Ohio paper. Not necessarily my most incisive stuff, but then, I don’t really do incisive; I’m more a light reading guy.


The Firm


Let Me In


My Life as an Instagram Influencer


Buckle Up


Cupid: <sigh>


Heritage Day


Hop, Skip and Jump to the Polls


D-I-V-O-R-C-E


Homecoming


A Tea Towel for Two

Westminster (image googlegrab like the most of the rest + beaucoup graininess)


The Liberty List


Nice to See You, to See You Nice


The Conkers State


London Calling (photo credit: me)


Dear Cyclists


Paperboy


Dear President @realDonaldTrump


The Overseas Oval Office Club
What, you don’t remember President Yoda?


None of the Above
Illustration not specifically made for the story, but what the hell.

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