{"id":2549,"date":"2013-02-01T07:54:51","date_gmt":"2013-02-01T07:54:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/?p=2549"},"modified":"2020-11-30T12:48:32","modified_gmt":"2020-11-30T12:48:32","slug":"tibits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/?p=2549","title":{"rendered":"Tibits"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you are what you eat, since discovering Tibits<\/a>\u00a0in London last year I am slowly becoming Swiss and will eventually be able to claim asylum in their neutral country. I’d like a placement in Lausanne<\/a>, please.<\/p>\n

“Back in 1998, three brothers took part in Venture, a business plan competition organized jointly by the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology (ETH) and professional services company McKinsey. Their names were Reto, Christian and Daniel Frei, and their vision was a high-class, fast food vegetarian<\/a> restaurant\u2026”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nFrei brothers: voted better than Kray brothers<\/em><\/p>\n

I could continue to quote from the history on their website, perhaps including an overview of past successes of projects inspired by the ETH and adding a Venn diagram examining the correlations between the appetites of an industrious and capable people and a logical diet for a planet in which resources are better not diverted to an ultimately unsustainable model emphasising the production of meat protein, but I wouldn’t want to over-romanticise.<\/p>\n

Tibits is expensive for “fast food” \u2013\u00a0though if this is fast food in Switzerland, no wonder they never go to war: they’re so busy salivating they don’t have time. By fast I assume they mean you serve yourself, which is indeed almost always quicker than waiting on waiters.\u00a0\u00a32.10 for lunch for every 100 grams [takeaway is cheaper, dinner is dearer]\u00a0 targets either an affluent demographic or those who are willing to forgo a healthy chunk of their retirement fund to enjoy decent food while still in their peak earning years. [Note to self: alfalfa sprouts are only so filling.] Fortunately this buys gastronomic contentment in a pleasant atmosphere in a convenient part of London, if a quick detour off Regent Street isn’t too far off your beaten path. Afterwards you can nip into the nearby Wholefoods and tip yourself further into means-tested territory on that far-off day.<\/p>\n

Next we come, as all reviews of Tibits must, to the food boat, so-called because it is approximately boat shaped even as it lacks nautical accoutrements to extend a metaphor. I won’t describe the fare because I’m not a food writer, just a food eater. It’s all properly labelled, which is a relief for those of us avoiding this or that. I happen to be vegan, and have little difficulty filling my plate. Favourites include the dried bean salad (as it happens not dry at all), avocado cream which I could eat by the vatful, and whatever tofu can be scored from other dishes. Sticky toffee pudding for dessert, when they have it.* That’s the thing about Tibits: they don’t always have what they had last time. But they might have it again next time. There are some staples but the menu slowly changes. While this can be a little disconcerting, it’s nice to try new things.<\/p>\n

Commit to a plan of repast then queue up to get weighed. The food, not you.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Warning to those paying by credit card: the machines often say ‘Remove card’ before they’ve had their way with it. Don’t do it! You’ll just have to go through the trauma of inserting it again.<\/p>\n

There’s an area for children downstairs. If you forget them when you leave at least they’ll be well fed, and if they’re lucky given a child-proofed Swiss army knife so they’re not completely without resources.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nThe train into London. Technically not part of the Tibits experience.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nFlower power. Getting closer.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nAnd here we are. Sorry sir, the dishwashing job has been taken.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nTasteful furnishings soon to be rent asunder by ravenous hoards. Every morning Tibits must buy new chairs, as wickertarians gnaw on these.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nIf you tip staff they will allow you to be captain of the food boat. No extra benefits, but at least I got a crooked smile out of the deal.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nAuthorised personnel<\/em><\/p>\n

Unless professionally shot, food photos are almost always, well, unappetising. So I’ll mostly try to shoot around it…<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>except for the kale, which has a clause in its contract demanding exposure and extra sharpening in Photoshop. Kale is not actually food; it’s said to be healthy nonetheless. You may also recall that\u00a0<\/em>Damian Lewis<\/a>\u00a0(also spotted In The News<\/a>) used some on <\/em>Homeland<\/em> to escape from a hostage situation.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nVlogns<\/a> are also catered for<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nFree breadrolls. At least I think they’re free. Let’s fill our pockets and run! Grab the overexposed ones first!<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nThere have been complaints that the sticky toffee pudding isn’t in all the serving dishes. Nor is it available at a reduced rate to those who can prove need.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nQueue jumpers are sent to Swiss labour camps to make fine precision timepieces.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\n“The hemlock is good today.”<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nAbacus for abandoned children to mark the days. The more traditionally minded can use the chalk stored on the left.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nDavid Hockney’s parents in limbo at the Tate until their next visit to the food boat.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Credits: The first two photos aren’t mine. I also didn’t draw those circles. ‘Keep calm<\/a> and join the queue’ I came up with on my own, then of course found that other people had come up with it on their own, too.<\/p>\n

*A special note on sticky toffee pudding: A few years down the line, I can confidently state that they always<\/em> have this, or at least, have had it the hundred times I’ve been to Tibits since I wrote this. Though the recipe keeps changing slightly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you are what you eat, since discovering Tibits\u00a0in London last year I am slowly becoming Swiss and will eventually be able to claim asylum in their neutral country. I’d like a placement in Lausanne, please. “Back in 1998, three … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2549"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2549"}],"version-history":[{"count":79,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2549\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10992,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2549\/revisions\/10992"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2549"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2549"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2549"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}