{"id":6368,"date":"2016-02-25T09:53:58","date_gmt":"2016-02-25T09:53:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/?p=6368"},"modified":"2019-03-10T22:28:00","modified_gmt":"2019-03-10T22:28:00","slug":"english-only-what-really-happened-at-the-democratic-caucus-in-nevada","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/?p=6368","title":{"rendered":"\u201cEnglish only\u201d: What Really Happened at the Democratic caucus in Nevada"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Who are you going to believe, me or <a class=\"markup--anchor markup--p-anchor\" href=\"http:\/\/www.snopes.com\/sanders-english-only-huerta\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-href=\"http:\/\/www.snopes.com\/sanders-english-only-huerta\/\">Snopes<\/a>?<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/yMgAA4OYGhI?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p id=\"44c5\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--figure\"><strong class=\"markup--strong markup--p-strong\">Transcript<\/strong><br \/>\nCaucus moderator: \u201cIs this thing on? Testing, testing 1 2 3. We begin bombing in five minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p id=\"8837\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">Silence, then a few boos. Someone laughs but quickly stops, embarrassed to be the only one.<\/p>\n<p id=\"c644\" class=\"graf graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote graf-after--p\">\u201cTough crowd. You know, I killed \u2019em in New Hampshire. Moving right along, it\u2019s time to start counting. OK, here we go\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p id=\"43d2\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">Mild commotion. Discontent is afoot.<\/p>\n<p id=\"472d\" class=\"graf graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote graf-after--p\">\u201cNow what?\u201d<\/p>\n<p id=\"1d82\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">Voice in the crowd: \u201cSome people don\u2019t speak English. Can we have a Spanish translator with you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p id=\"bc3e\" class=\"graf graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote graf-after--p\">\u201cSure. First person on the stage that hablas espa\u00f1ol gets to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p id=\"2bc4\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">[Functionary walks up on stage, whispers \u201cWell I liked your joke.\u201d]<\/p>\n<p id=\"7826\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">There\u2019s a buzz as people turn to their neighors\u2014\u201cDo you speak Spanish?\u201d \u201cNo, I took it French in high school,\u201d etc.<\/p>\n<p id=\"d687\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">Susan Sarandon is about to offer up her phone for Google Translate when an all-too-familiar voice rings out:<\/p>\n<p id=\"440d\" class=\"graf graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote graf-after--p\">\u201cFuck this shit! I speak Spanish!\u201d<\/p>\n<p id=\"c40f\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">There are screams and moans. Somebody faints when the truth hits them. Unfortunately none of this was captured on camera.<\/p>\n<p id=\"8e92\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">It\u2019s Donald Trump!<\/p>\n<p id=\"a98d\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">Nobody recognized him because he has been sitting quietly in his seat pretending to read a book (One Hundred Years of Solitude), knowing it would be good cover.<\/p>\n<p id=\"e731\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">Trump carefully marks his nonexistent place in the book, then stands up and clears his throat: \u201cYou probably wonder what I\u2019m doing here,\u201d he says to a chorus of catcalls.<\/p>\n<p id=\"afe9\" class=\"graf graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote graf-after--p\">\u201cI know Democrats are like a herd of cats, but let\u2019s not be catcallers,\u201d says the moderator to general confusion.<\/p>\n<p id=\"73bb\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">Someone else joins him at the table but they don\u2019t have a part to play in this drama. It will later transpire they\u2019re at the wrong table anyway.<\/p>\n<p id=\"be89\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">Trump continues: \u201cI\u2019m not the evil one-dimensional cartoon character you all seem to think I am. I\u2019m complex, multifaceted. Sure, I can imagine my own daughter as a highly desirable piece of ass I\u2019d like to date. But the media never reports on my philosophical side.<\/p>\n<p id=\"38c7\" class=\"graf graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote graf-after--p\">\u201cFor example, the wall I propose to build is a metaphor meant to remind us of the walls we construct in a heart-wrenching bid to protect ourselves from truly understanding and communing with each other.<\/p>\n<p id=\"911c\" class=\"graf graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote graf-after--p\">\u201cSure, it will also keep foreign scum out, but that\u2019s win-win!\u201d<\/p>\n<p id=\"bdb8\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">While Trump is talking, Dolores Huerta approaches the group up front and offers to translate.<\/p>\n<p id=\"f875\" class=\"graf graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote graf-after--p\">\u201cUnfortunately I can understand Mr. Trump just fine,\u201d says the moderator.<\/p>\n<p id=\"48c6\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">Perturbed by the sudden lack of attention, Trump lets fly an amazingly fluent string of curses in perfect Spanish. He doesn\u2019t actually know the language, but his housekeeper says these things to him all the time, and he\u2019s smart enough to know they aren\u2019t compliments.<\/p>\n<p id=\"23b0\" class=\"graf graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote graf-after--p\"><strong class=\"markup--strong markup--p-strong\">\u201cEnglish only!\u201d<\/strong> shouts a Bernie Sanders supporter, anxious not to offend any Spanish speakers.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ec70\" class=\"graf graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote graf-after--p\">\u201cPutain that, \u00e9coutons ca en fran\u00e7ais,\u201d says someone who\u2019s obviously using Google Translate, badly.<\/p>\n<p id=\"cc4d\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">The sudden influx of multiculturalism pushes Trump to the next level of rage. He flings One Hundred Years of Solitude at nobody in particular, but it catches Sarandon squarely in the face.<\/p>\n<p id=\"2db0\" class=\"graf graf--p graf--startsWithDoubleQuote graf-after--p\">\u201cOops,\u201d says Trump, laughing hysterically. \u201cWell, at least it will improve your looks.\u201d<\/p>\n<p id=\"c04e\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">There\u2019s an audible gasp. Or inaudible, as the case may be. \u201cDead man walking,\u201d a crowd of onlookers begins to chant.<\/p>\n<p id=\"b510\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">Trump\u2019s eyes go wild, like a trapped animal\u2019s. His toupee* scampers off his head in fright. He searches frantically for an exit.<\/p>\n<p id=\"8e51\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">Meanwhile the group up front is frozen in indecision about how to proceed without appearing too partisan on one hand, or uncaring for non-English speakers on the other.<\/p>\n<p id=\"55d5\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">Rock paper scissors is suggested, though to what end nobody knows. There is also disagreement on whether rock would win in a truly just society.<\/p>\n<p id=\"33ee\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">To add to the confusion, two alley cats have slipped into the venue and loudly begin to have sex, their shrieks nearly indistinguishable from Trump\u2019s.<\/p>\n<p id=\"9066\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">At this point you\u2019d think all hell would really break loose, but rather than a climax of pandemonium, events reach an almost satisfying closure.<\/p>\n<p id=\"2c40\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">It is unanimously agreed that for the most part caucus rules may as well be written in Swahili for all the sense they make. Furthermore, whoever doesn\u2019t come in first will probably find a way to claim a victory of sorts.<\/p>\n<p id=\"69d2\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">As the group disperses, the cats also finish with their business and head out, flicking their tails over the prone body of Trump.<\/p>\n<p id=\"4dba\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">He\u2019s playing dead, feverishly composing tweets in his head until the coast is clear. Sarandon has retrieved One Hundred Years of Solitude and discovered the book jacket was merely covering a copy of 50 Shades of Grey.<\/p>\n<p id=\"1cda\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">His toupee is already outside talking to reporters.<\/p>\n<p id=\"fd81\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\">.\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/p>\n<p id=\"ef78\" class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\"><em class=\"markup--em markup--p-em\">* Yes, he wears one. Who are you going to believe, me or Trump?<br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p graf-after--p\"><a href=\"http:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/1-CzuWra0HiTuAbXeZqK9rvg.jpeg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-6369\" src=\"http:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/1-CzuWra0HiTuAbXeZqK9rvg.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"621\" height=\"426\" srcset=\"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/1-CzuWra0HiTuAbXeZqK9rvg.jpeg 621w, https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/1-CzuWra0HiTuAbXeZqK9rvg-300x206.jpeg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 621px) 100vw, 621px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Who are you going to believe, me or Snopes? Transcript Caucus moderator: \u201cIs this thing on? Testing, testing 1 2 3. We begin bombing in five minutes.\u201d Silence, then a few boos. Someone laughs but quickly stops, embarrassed to be &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/?p=6368\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6368"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6368"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6368\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7444,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6368\/revisions\/7444"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6368"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6368"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6368"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}