{"id":6383,"date":"2017-02-15T13:34:06","date_gmt":"2017-02-15T13:34:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/?p=6383"},"modified":"2020-04-03T07:26:38","modified_gmt":"2020-04-03T06:26:38","slug":"its-a-date","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/?p=6383","title":{"rendered":"It’s a date"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"
\nI\u2019ll check my diary<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Look what just arrived. Could it be a belated valentine from the other Legal Occupier of this address? Because the 27th has significance in our lives. It\u2019s our anniversary!<\/p>\n

(Actually our anniversary is the 28th. I can never remember with exactitude despite piling up an impressive number of them. I figure having it nailed down to those two days deserves some credit.)<\/p>\n

Seeing as she would never<\/em> get the date wrong, chances are it\u2019s not from her. I open it. What\u2019s this?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nEvery 5 seconds? Talk about a quickie.<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Oh no, we can expect a visit<\/a> from an Enforcement Officer<\/a> on the 27th or literally any other day. It\u2019s even got a stamp on the bottom, or an artful attempt at one:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Looks official, signature in contrasting ink and everything. That\u2019s Hales John Hales, licence to instill fear in the noncompliant.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Canterbury isn\u2019t just around the corner, but it\u2019s close enough that it shouldn\u2019t take two years for an officer to hurry up and get here to check up on us already. That\u2019s about how long we\u2019ve been getting love letters from Capita, the company contracted out by the BBC to blanket the country with stern letters like this.<\/p>\n

The assumption is that everybody is tuned in at some point. There are no discounts for not being camped out on the couch in front of the tube; it only takes once a year, so if you\u2019re only turning it on to catch the Queen\u2019s Christmas Message, savour every word.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\n\u201cWe see you when you\u2019re sleeping, we know when you\u2019re awake.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The problem is, not everybody watches television or uses their computer as one. Many of us use services such as Netflix exclusively, which warrants no licence. And some outliers have no interest in moving pictures at all.<\/p>\n

Just having a TV in the house doesn\u2019t mean it has to have papers: you\u2019ve actually got to turn it on. As it is inconceivable to Capita that you can own a set which primarily gets used as, say, a temporary storage facility the top of which is easier to access than drawers and a step up from the floor,<\/p>\n

\"\"
\nGuilty<\/em><\/p>\n

only occasionally being called into service for things called \u2018videos\u2019, you\u2019re considered guilty until proven innocent \u2014 \u201cTell us you don\u2019t need one.\u201d<\/p>\n

If only it were that easy. Yes, you can inform them that none of this applies to you, but you\u2019ll still have to be prepared to admit an Enforcement Officer to check up on you. Or so they say.<\/p>\n

Actually, Capita \u2018Officers\u2019 have no more right to enter your home than the pizza delivery guy.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\n\u201cIf you\u2019re not going to eat this, I am.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re perfectly entitled to close the door in their face, or better yet, not open it in the first place.<\/p>\n

Why would you be so rude? Perhaps because you have the quaint notion your home really is your castle, or as close to a castle as you can afford, and being asked to admit what are basically salesmen, or else<\/strong>, sticks in the craw.<\/p>\n

As you can see, the tone of the letters is firm if not threatening. It works. There are even people who have admitted to caving in and getting a licence although they absolutely don\u2019t need one, due to a combination of intimidation and ignorance of the law.<\/p>\n

Mrs Legal Occupier and I made sure we knew our rights before taking the drastic step of laughing at the letters that come through the slot about once a month. And anyway we\u2019re busy the 27th. I for one am going to be spending it apologising for wishing her happy anniversary right after waking up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ll check my diary Look what just arrived. Could it be a belated valentine from the other Legal Occupier of this address? Because the 27th has significance in our lives. It\u2019s our anniversary! (Actually our anniversary is the 28th. I … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6383"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6383"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6383\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10221,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6383\/revisions\/10221"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6383"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6383"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prettygoodbritain.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6383"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}