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MONOPOLY RULES No longer a Democratic Monopoly, a game for up to 19 players but designed for two, was invented during the reign of the first Republican mayor to rule Jersey City since... well, you'll have to answer that question to win Bentley Avenue. The object of the game is to make the most money, naturally. Whether or not you do any jail time is immaterial. There are no game pieces. You will have to either navigate the board in your head the way Ben Kingsley made Josh do it in Searching for Bobby Fischer, or put pencil to paper. Suggested graphic devices are an apartment, representing an average citizen, or an empty condo, representing a developer. If you role-play the latter your motivation might be to get as many abatements as possible; if the former, to merely survive. Choose which player begins by flipping a pre-1982 penny, which has more copper in it than its descendants and so rings pleasantly rather than resounding dully upon hitting the pavement. After the order of play is decided, simply take turns, somewhat like Jersey City's mayors did 1992-1993. All properties are worth $12.50 (which is after the re-val) except for Bentley Avenue, at $400,000. However, you are not allowed to claim the full value of this unless your family mines vermiculite in South Africa. Yes, we're aware Bret doesn't live on Bentley. The point is merely illustrative. Multiple-choice questions may have more than one answer. For each correctly answered question you may add $12.50 to your bank account. If you must answer a series of questions each is worth its proportion of $12.50, but you'll have to work out the math for yourself. If you fail to correctly answer a question you should deduct its worth (in cases of a series, its proportion of worth) from your total account. All accounts are held with the Trust Company of New Jersey, 'The Bank with Gall'. See you in line. A
special note on the internet version |
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COMMUNIPAW AVENUE 1. Recently Money magazine published its list of the top places to live in the country. Hudson County, of which Jersey City is the county seat, ranked 235th. What comment did County Executive Robert 'C' Janiszewski have? 2. How about Joseph Hart, Jersey City's director of recreation and cultural affairs? |
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. DRIVE 1. Is it revitalized yet? 2. Which former mayor said "I am the law" and what was the context? 3. Which former mayor often said "I am the mayor" and was convicted on 15 counts of bank fraud, mail fraud and tax evasion, landing him in which context? 4. Why is it generally a good idea to run a credit check on a Jersey City public official? |
DANFORTH AVENUE 1. Which political event in recent memory most resembled that old baseball triple-play, Tinker to Evans to Chance, but without the poetry? 2. Who was better, Chance in 'Being There' or Gump in 'Forrest Gump'? |
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Communipaw 1. Janiszewski: "I'm absolutely delighted. This will make it the first time that Hudson County made the list." 2. Hart: "I'm offended by that... I place absolutely no credibility in those sorts of things." And we thought he placed no credibility in those sorts of things. |
Martin Luther King, Jr. Drive 1. Do politicians shop there yet? 2. Frank Hague, in a rare moment when he probably wasn't being a demigod, merely exploitative, offered himself as the embodiment of the legal system in a fit of exasperation at some red tape which was keeping a juvenile from a jobs program. 3. Gerry McCann, Allenwood Federal Prison Camp, Pennsylvania. 4. Like mayor, like mayor. John V. Kenny, who served 1949-1953 and was Hudson County Democratic boss for much longer, pleaded guilty in May 1972 to six counts of income tax evasion. Although he was likely just being honest, he went to Springfield, MO all the same, and not for the waters. The beginning of the 'Me Decade' was a busy time. In 1970 eleven area entrepreneurs, including Kenny, Council president Thomas Flaherty, and Hudson County Police Chief Fred Kropke, were gifted with a 34-count indictment charging conspiracy, extortion, and other social excesses. Almost all were either convicted or pleaded guilty, and served time. Thomas Whelan, mayor from 1963-1971, pleaded guilty to tax evasion in 1971 in the same general festivities. In September 1994 former Jersey City Public Works director R.L. Williams and Library Director Steven Welch were indicted on charges of running up more than $40,000 at hotels, restaurants and sex clubs using city-issued American Express cards, which are supposed to be for entertainment.
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Danforth Avenue 1. McCann (yanked from center stage in February 1992) to Roman to Rakowski to Schundler, who has too many consultants to drop the ball. A deja vu all over again shuffle reminiscent of the Whelan endgame circa 1971, when Paul Jordan won a special election to finish Whelan's term and went on to win a full four years. When Gerald McCann made his forced departure, city council, in fine form as usual, couldn't decide on a replacement. So Marilyn Roman, then the council president, became acting mayor for III and a half months. That June the council, if not the people, decided on Rakowski instead, so he took the office for a little spin -- he still kicks the tires -- until Bret Schundler's political ambitions were finally realized in the special elections (aren't they just all so special?) in November 1992. In May 1993 Schundler was elected to a full term. Paul Jordan, incidentally, went on to run an unsuccessful race for governor. Schundler's friend Whitman already has that post covered, so for his next act he'll have to settle for a spot in the 1996 national ticket. 2. Peter Sellers was a better actor, but Tom Hanks ain't bad either. [Insert horrible intermission entertainment here.] And the Academy's decision is... Dr. Strangelove. |
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ORIENT AVENUE 1. In the '92 special election candidates almost had a better chance of hitting the Lotto. How many appeared on the ballot? 2. Which two candidates were related, and whom did their mother prefer? 3. Who expressed fear that his daughter might be the target of kidnappers if he disclosed his tax returns? 4. Which is better for plant life, chromium or vermiculite? |
BERGEN AVENUE Match the former nickname with the former mayoral candidate. 1.
Daniel Waddleton a)
Dancing Dan
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OCEAN AVENUE What was 'Triple Dipping'? a)
a new technique for ice-cream scooping |
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Orient Avenue 1. Nineteen. All you need is a dollar and a backer. 2. Allen Manzo ("An honest change") and Louis Manzo ("An honest difference", a slogan closer to the honest truth). The matriarch was said to prefer Louis, who she called "The Real Manzo" in a television commercial and which he liked enough to adopt as his new slogan. The next Chinese Year of the Rabbit is 1999, Lou, in case you were wondering. 3. Bret Schundler, who nevertheless used her picture dangerously often in his campaign literature. 4. Vermiculite, a mineral used by florists, else Jersey City would be more verdant. The Schundler family business involves importing it from South Africa. Bret claimed it was exempt from sanctions because he said the federal government considers it to be a strategic material. To be fair, Uncle Sam probably does employ a lot of gardeners. The family affair was made into an issue by his opponents, who went so far as to sing "We Shall Overcome" at a demonstration in front of City Hall. Overcome vermiculite? Chromium (sodium chromate) is a by-product of steel production. The greenish yellow slurry, when left to dry into a powder and combined with dirt, can apparently be used as cheap landfill. It was, in Jersey City, for 50 years. This was before experts knew that the best fill is plain dirt. Liberty State Park, already largely made from New York landfill, was one such recipient; what isn't garbage is chromium. One site abuts the park's environmental center, though it's not used as an interactive exhibit. It is said even weeds won't grow in sufficiently contaminated soil. Would vermiculite answer a need here? The less attractive properties of chromium (it's carcinogenic) were widely advertised by Earl "Toxic Tex" Aldredge, a $1-a-year-honorary health inspector under Mayor Anthony Cucci. In 1985 the Department of Environmental Protection spent $900,000 on an 18-month study to gauge the extent of the contamination and health risks, but issued no conclusions at the end of the 18 months. For their encore they probably gave themselves a raise. Former health inspector and future mayoral hopeful Louis Manzo also helped popularize the chromium issue, particularly as regards Metro Field, a little-league ball field. But he should've taken a tip from Schundler: uncovering vermiculite is more profitable. |
Bergen Avenue 1-A, "Dancing
Dan" Waddleton
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Ocean Avenue B and C. Joseph Rakowski's claim was that Marilyn Roman briefly managed to swing salaries as mayor and council president whilst also working for the Board of Education. We merely offer the judgement that anybody working for the Board is overpaid as it is. |
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BENTLEY AVENUE 1. Bret Schundler, a Republican and Capricorn, was elected mayor in a city with 5,000 registered Republicans, 46,000 registered Democrats, and an unknown number of unregistered Capricorns. Who was Jersey City's last elected Republican Mayor? When did he serve? 2. Which ultimately unsuccessful candidate for city council probably most deserved to win? Not that this is a retroactive endorsement. |
WEST SIDE AVENUE Why was Schundler elected mayor? a) he offered less crime, less taxes, and more jobs b) he can afford a good lawyer if he ever needs one c) many of the other candidates were nincompoops, and so cancelled each-other out |
DUNCAN AVENUE 1. Who among these people have streets named after them? a)
Audrey Zapp Drive 2. Which Jersey City attraction often fails to mention its exact location in its promotional advertising? |
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Bentley Avenue 1. Mark Fagan, who served from 1901-1907 and 1913-1917. He was a Libra. 2. Yvonne Balcer. If we're not personally acquainted with her it's only because we're a little intimidated by anyone who's good with numbers. |
West Side Avenue C is the preferred answer here, thank you.
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Duncan Avenue 1. All except E, silly. We once witnessed Mr. Duffy, or an incredible facsimile, watering his plants with a super soaker squirt gun of unknown caliber. Just goes to show that when you're a legend, or a legend facsimile, you don't have to take on airs. Washington may have crossed the Delaware, but Pesin crossed part of the Hudson, to highlight the plight of Jersey City residents who used to have to go to Manhattan to get to Liberty Island. McCann can be said to have crossed his own personal Rubicon. 2. The Liberty Science Center PR dept. may, when pressed, own up to being in the tri-state area, but it's unlikely they play 'My Little Town' as Muzak. |
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BALDWIN AVENUE 1. Who is known as the Father of Liberty State Park? a)
Morris Pesin 2. There is a structurally sound bridge to Ellis Island which is presently closed to the public. Many would like to see it open. What is the current plan? 3. For heaven's sake, who owns Ellis Island, New York or New Jersey? |
SIP AVENUE 1. Which theatre draws a larger matinee crowd? a)
Loew's 2. Name one Jersey City institution which might leave you with the feeling, "That's All?" Does it have interactive exhibits? |
NEWARK AVENUE 1. Who wrote Lost in Jersey City, and does she still live here? 2. Who wrote Jersey Luck, Freaks' Amour, and other books, and does he still live here? 3. Who hung out with local police officers without gaining any weight to help gather background material for Clockers? |
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Baldwin Avenue 1. A 2. Tear it down and build another one. 3. New York supplies most the the island's tourist dollars, and the phone company knows it as '212', but its electricity and water come from New Jersey. |
Sip Avenue 1. D. The Stanley, by far, which seat 5700. It's owned and filled by Jehovah's Witnesses. The Majestic isn't yet a theater and only seats pigeons. Loew's, long in restoration, seats dreamers -- which is nice, because sometimes dreams come true. 2. We were thinking of The Jersey City Museum, although city council is also an acceptable answer. In 1993 the museum hosted 'States of Loss: Migration, displacement, Colonialism, and Power' (a neat little comment on its host city, eh?), an exhibit which included Joe Lewis's 99.44% pure, Homage to Minimalism and cleanliness, which is next to minimalism. The exhibit consisted of scores of bars of Ivory Soap fresh from the Nexus Contemporary Art Center in Atlanta, Georgia. Laid out on the floor with museum-quality precision, they qualified as an interactive exhibit, as patrons could've conceivable nipped a bar for a shower.
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Newark Avenue 1. Paula Sharp, who lives in Philadelphia. 2. Tom DeHaven, who's now in Virginia. They both served their time. 3. Richard Price. This is pure speculation on our part. We're not privy to his girth either pre- or post-publication. |
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PALISADES AVENUE How much property will it take to satisfy Christ Hospital? a)
CH saves lives. Don't pick on them! |
KENNEDY BLVD. You can leave Dickenson High School (to be fair, most schools) and not fit into the real world. What about the Jersey City school system is unique, though? |
PAVONIA AVENUE 1. During the summer of 1994 part of Christopher Columbus Drive was closed to allow the operation of a carnival, which had a ride called the Gravitron. Which idea of Bret Schundler's would likely be pulled to earth first if he was to take a ride in the Gravitron? 2. Where can residents get the smallest meal in town? |
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Palisades Avenue C. |
Kennedy Blvd. Four years ago it was taken over by the state, which renewed its option in 1994. The mayor offers vouchers. He might better offer smaller classes and better facilities.
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Pavonia Avenue 1. This is a gift. Take your pick. 2. Asako Yamado at Arton Studios on Sussex Street glues miniature examples of miniature food groups onto presumably well-balanced meals, and frames them. |
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EXCHANGE PLACE "NJ and You, Perfect Together," former governor Kean's slogan, has long since expired. Your replacement? a)
"Christie or Jim, auto insurers still win" |
MONTGOMERY STREET 1. Which street floods the worst in a bad rainstorm? a)
Erie near the Holland Tunnel 2. A mystifying number of storefronts in Jersey City are missing letters. Why? 3. How many languages are supposedly spoken in Jersey City? Can you name them? |
GROVE STREET Match the city council member with the appropriate dwarf. You may spare one: Fernando
Colon Doc Happy Sneezy Dopey Grumpy Bashful Sleepy |
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Exchange Place A, B or C |
Montgomery Street 1. They're all below sea-level at times 2. Anybody who watches 'Wheel of Fortune' knows that vowels, and presumable consonants in this case, cost money. 3. Forty-one. This was a claim made by Schundler as he waxed poetic on the city's diversity. Maybe he was right. Who the hell knows? Was he referring to a city council free-for-all instead?
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Grove Street Casting is stalemated; they can't ALL be Dopey. Any choice may be correct. Take no prisoners. This is a democracy. |