Gardens of England #1.5

Hall Place in Bexley. Not at all interested in the garden, which was awash with traffic noise. There is however an artist in residence in the Tudor house currently running an interesting exhibition on the subject of…

water

Mother Nature’s hydration. Let’s call this one Robbing Peter to pay Paul to split it with Mary.

waterguy2

Video installation of a performance artist bobbing for radiation, courtesy Fukushima.

illusion1

Don’t try dunking your head in this, it’s an illusion. Light shows aren’t just for the O2 Arena.

waterguy

Does my head look hot in this? When they turn the tap on, water spits over his heated scalp where it immediately turns into steam. It’s a comment on creativity, said the liner notes.

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The Gardens of England #1: Marle Place

This is a private garden in Kent. Peaceful green spaces flowing one into another, whimsical topiary, a pool for eye candy, amphibians for an earful (see below), and sculpture which isn’t at all objectionable even to philistines like myself who more often than not give anything newer than Michelangelo short shrift.

egghead
Not David, but not bad

I’ll admit here and now that I mostly go to gardens because my wife likes them and I like her. Our usual routine is that she flits about the flowers like a honeybee while I seek out the nearest shade.

mrs

anotherflower

However, something about Marle Place captivated me. I think it started with the pool

pool

Pretty standard as small bodies of chlorinated water go, but something about it pulled me out of my usual drowsinated garden state and made me thirsty for more.

me

What more can you ask for than a swing? The National Trust doesn’t provide swings (and if they did they’d probably charge extra for it). Even the knot seemed pleasingly tied. I was never a Scout and have no idea what kind it was.


???

Here was another charmed place to sit for the spell that was being cast on me.

bench

Sculpture was scattered about, fitting right in wherever we stumbled upon it. I was particularly taken by

sculpture4

And what’s this?

marleoverview

Could it be…?

marlebike1

That was very hard for my autofocus to latch on to. Of course, a rusty old bike is almost de rigueur in a garden.

bike

We were served a very nice lunch much coveted by some of the locals

bantam

then left, entirely satisfied. That amphibian?

lilypadfrog

His beloved always seemed to stay one lily-pad ahead of him.

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Rabitting on

I had what educators call a teachable moment yesterday whilst interviewing a gardener (which makes me sound posher than I am, but if the Hunters fit…). “I see you around on your bike,” he said after we’d discussed how much Monsanto Roundup should be sprayed to stun but not kill bunnies. After we’d established that yes I am the village cyclist, he launched into a mini diatribe against cyclists who wear “those ear things” and weave all over the road. Needless to say I cleared my throat.

Had a bit of fun watching his eyes slightly bulge at the thought he may have just insulted a potential client, but I’m not cruel enough to enjoy the squirming of even tradesmen, so I let him off the hook by agreeing that yes, it looks like a crazy thing to do, before explaining why it isn’t any madder than spraying glyphosate around and hoping the local hoppers regard it as nectar.

Anyway, it turns out his anecdotal ire was based on an apparently misbehaving pedestrian, who in the interests of comity I agreed should also be sprayed with Roundup much like unruly weeds.

bunnyrolling

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Wellies as squirrel storage facility

Some time ago I left an old pair of leaky boots in the garage. Recently had a mind to try to mend them, and discovered this:

So I put them back. I don’t want to be responsible for starving the locals.

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