I recently had tea and biscuits with a descendent of Charles Babbage. The next day I happened to visit the Science Museum in London, that repository of knowledge
and this formerly quite knowledgeable organ:
Although donations are welcome at the museum, there was no slot for biscuits.
Seeing a brain in the altogether reminded me of this:
which leapt across where a synapse should be, to this:
and finally, this:
my own skull stuffer, first theorised here.
Snapshots from a day in the city
The ice rink at the Natural History Museum is being packed up and sent on loan to the Creation Museum in Kentucky, for an exhibit called Dinos on Ice!.
Copycat at the V&A
Red light. Bus can’t turn. Tumble zone on the left, as if.
That double yellow line is calling to me.
Am on the lookout for a globe. Not a silver one, John Lewis.
Reds at the Tate Modern. (The Pantone chart was my contribution.)
Please can I ride across this just once.
Dear Curmudgeon,
I cannot defend spending a couple of thousand for a bike. But I think I can provide information on why bikes are so expensive, and why the youth of today are willing to hand over what may appear to be outrageous sums for vehicles which lack a motor, comfortable seat, roof, and most other amenities that one normally associates with pleasurable transport.
First, I take note of your description of your long-ago mount as homemade from “abandoned bits garnered from ditch and hedgerow.” Most cyclists to-day prefer a riding experience that takes advantage of modern materials and manufacturing techniques. Therefore, when visiting a bike shop expect to find many shiny models constructed of carbon-fibre, titanium, and unobtanium to enhance the riding experience – and not coincidentally make for lively exchanges of envy amongst one’s peers awheel. Naturally such advancements do not come cheap. Here the availability of easy credit (which has also deplorably fueled the housing bubble, but I digress with a sigh) has come to the rescue. Given economic realities there is little of good cheer for the upcoming generation to look forward to other than conspicuous consumption.
Needless to say the various components and accessories that augment the frame have evolved from the sturdy though dull usefulness of yesteryear, with commensurate inflation. Cranks are constantly evolving to meet the needs of marketing departments. Wheels haven’t become any more round, but have shed frivolous spokes. Pedals are no longer simple ledges upon which to casually rest one’s foot; they now require specialist attachments on shoes so that the foot is locked in, always in service to speed. Everything is more aerodynamic, which is said to be a good thing.
The modern cyclist no longer wrestles with unwieldy and windblown maps, but has the advantage of GPS, invented by the US military to guide missiles and weekend ramblers. Modern notions of health and safety prescribe such things as helmets which mimic birds of prey, and lights capable of thousands of candlepower. I could go on.
Lastly, most bicycles are built far from these shores. Although in some respects it is sad that British industry is no longer the force it once was, globalisation has greatly facilitated the race to the bottom. What better metaphor than a fast bike to help us get there?
Kind regards,
THE HIGH COST OF HELP-TO-BUY
Critics point out that families may be torn apart
The Leek has discovered that the financial assistance scheme to help first time buyers onto the property ladder contains a clause which gives the government possession of homeowners’ children if mortgage payments are not made in a timely manner.
The housing minister defended the clause, saying “The government needs reassurances.” The shadow housing minister said the opposite, which she’s paid to do.
The hand that gives can also take away
To show that the policy has teeth, Prime Minister David Cameron personally visited mum Sharon, who is heavily in arrears, to remove her daugher Maisie from the household. Afterwards Mr Cameron tweeted: “It was lovely to meet you Sharon! You can enjoy your Maisie-nette as soon as it’s paid for.” Sharon also took to Twitter, writing: “I’ll find the money. #pleasedonthurther”
