BUTCHERS SPEARHEAD DIY
Food continues to be eaten despite worry
Ongoing questions about the source of Britain’s meat, now disclosed to have been largely composed of horse, badger, and illegal immigrants lured by free tickets to Sweeney Todd, have prompted some butchers to encourage customers to do their own cooking.
This has caused controversy in a nation which what with one thing or another has little time or appetite for food preparation and has grown used to ready meals and intravenous servings of chips.
Jasper Conker, a garlic importer from Hove, has started a Twitter campaign composed entirely of hashtags to voice his displeasure. “What’s next, soylent green? Human centipedes? The mind boggles,” he said in a rare interview using words.
Others are more hopeful. Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver is reported to have begun filming a documentary highlighting everything that is good about British food, starting with Marmite.