That’ll be Christmas

Theologically chronologically and rhythmically unsound, but what do you expect from an atheist/borderline agnostic who likes to go to church.

manger

On the first day of Christmas my mother gave to me:
Half of my DNA

On the second day of Christmas my mother gave to me:
A headache for Father’s Day
and half of my DNA

On the third day of Christmas my mother gave to me:
Frankincense without a receipt
A headache for Father’s Day
and half of my DNA

On the fourth day of Christmas my mother gave to me:
A baker’s trinity
Frankincense without a receipt
A headache for Father’s Day
and half of my DNA

On the fifth day of Christmas my mother gave to me:
Five loaves of magic bread!
wonderbread

A baker’s trinity
Frankincense without a receipt
A headache for Father’s Day
and half of my DNA

On the sixth day of Christmas my mother gave to me:
John the Baptist’s head
Five loaves of magic bread!
A baker’s trinity
Frankincense without a receipt
A headache for Father’s Day
and half of my DNA

On the seventh day of Christmas my mother gave to me:
Seven Easter eggs
John the Baptist’s head
Five loaves of magic bread!
A baker’s trinity
Frankincense without a receipt
A headache for Father’s Day
and half of my DNA

On the eighth day of Christmas my mother gave to me:
Eight saints with wheel-broken legs
Seven Easter eggs
John the Baptist’s head
Five loaves of magic bread!
A baker’s trinity
Frankincense without a receipt
A headache for Father’s Day
and half of my DNA

On the ninth day of Christmas my mother gave to me:
Nine nuns as brides
nunwedding

Eight saints with wheel-broken legs
Seven Easter eggs
John the Baptist’s head
Five loaves of magic bread!
A baker’s trinity
Frankincense without a receipt
A headache for Father’s Day
and half of my DNA

On the tenth day of Christmas my mother gave to me:
Future donkey rides
Nine nuns as brides
Eight saints with wheel-broken legs
Seven Easter eggs
John the Baptist’s head
Five loaves of magic bread!
A baker’s trinity
Frankincense without a receipt
A headache for Father’s Day
and half of my DNA

On the eleventh day of Christmas my mother gave to me:
An angelic baby-sitter
Future donkey rides
Nine nuns as brides
Eight saints with wheel-broken legs
Seven Easter eggs
John the Baptist’s head
Five loaves of magic bread!
A baker’s trinity
Frankincense without a receipt
A headache for Father’s Day
and half of my DNA

On the twelfth day of Christmas my mother gave to me:
Twelve followers on Twitter
twitterjesus

An angelic baby-sitter
Future donkey rides
Nine nuns as brides
Eight tortured saints
Seven Easter eggs
John the Baptist’s head
Five loaves of magic bread!
A baker’s trinity
Frankincense without a receipt
A headache for Father’s Day
and half my DNA

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